So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
