did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
