You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
