Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
