rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
