I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
