I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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