Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
