New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
