Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize