I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
its liver damage thursday
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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