she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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