How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
