Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
