All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
