Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
