I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
