2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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