Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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