I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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