operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize