Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize