I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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