it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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