D3 body, D1 cock
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
