I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
