Sry I called you an 8
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
