i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
