your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
