Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
