im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
