You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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