What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
