I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're completely useless in the revolution.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
