I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
