He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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