his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize