i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
