This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
