apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize