Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
