im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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