I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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