Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
