Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
