everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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