I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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