If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
