you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
