The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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