Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
