i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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