garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
