i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
