So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
