I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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