Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
