He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
