How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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