You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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