He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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