mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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