Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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