what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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