doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize