Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
