I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
