its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had to cum in my sink.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
