Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
