the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
