Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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