I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
