im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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