yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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